Why do men fear children?
Random thoughts about children and the societal relationship we have in conversations around them.
The topic of children is fascinating to discuss as we grow up. As children we don’t think so much of the weight of wanting have children as it’s so engrained in our societal views of how life works: you go to school, get a job, start a family and continue on. But as we grow older and we understand the weight of the world and all things associated with it, the discussion of starting a family becomes more practical and conceptualizer into a way that slits smoothly into our lifestyles.
A few conversations in university specifically come to mind as I’ve casually been hanging out with friends (who were dating). I don’t quite recall how the conversation came up, but we joking started talking about how many children we wanted. As the ladies, we seemed to have a number picked out and rationale for the aspirations but the male of the group was in a place where they didn’t know if they want kids. We also diverged on the topic of baby names on another occasion and he was surprised we already had potential names picked and thought through. Of course these conversations were never meant to scare him but his girlfriend was on the same wavelength as me: as girls we just seem to have these things planned out and sitting in the back of our minds.
Although it’s not explicit, why does the talk of children perpetually scare men? Why do most women accept it as part of their life plan so readily? Why do men shy away of the idea of thinking of children so young?
Is it the societal pressure of not being a “deadbeat” dad that strikes fear into men of the idea fatherhood? Or the detachment from children because of the level of involvement that differs between both parents? With women traditionally being expected to take the reigns on the upbringing of children, there seems to be an easy out for men within many cultures of being equally as involved as the mother.
